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Heal Your Relationships By Healing You First #010

Searching for success and happiness?

Today’s podcast episode something I know millions of people struggle with.


If you struggle in any of your relationships, personal or professional it may not be for the reasons you think.

Do any of these ring a bell for you:

  • One or more of your relationships is stressful.

  • There's a ton of drama in the relationship.

  • There's been betrayal in the relationship.

  • There's a lack of trust in the relationship.

  • Someone in the relationship is an enabler.

  • You find yourself getting emotional or angry or distant.

  • You feel like your identity is lost.

  • You or someone in the relationship uses passive aggressive behavior.

  • You feel like your needs always seem to come last.

  • You fight about the little things but never discuss the big things

If any of these things and I mean any exist inside your relationship then I have both good and bad news.

You don’t have relationship problems, you have personal problems that have trickled over into your relationships.

That’s the bad news. The good news is once you resolve your personal problems, your relationships can and will improve drastically. The harsh truth is if you have problems in your relationships like communication, boundaries, unmet or unclear expectations, loyalty, trust, or commitment then it’s most likely because somewhere in your personal life, outside of the relationship, there is a problem that needs addressing.

The problem is most people would rather point fingers and pass blame than to ask themselves “is this something I’m bringing into the relationship?”

That’s what we do right?

He’s bossy or he’s a jerk or she’s lazy or he’s unfaithful or she’s dishonest or he makes me feel bad about myself. But the truth is all those things may be true, but if they are and you’re still in the relationship, then you tolerate it.

You breed it. You grow it.

I know you’ve heard it before but we get what we tolerate.

We live the life we’ve created.

The reason you may find yourself in one of these toxic relationships is that you walked into the relationship without the skills to clearly define your needs to yourself and to articulate them to the other person, and without the ability to clearly define the other person's needs and meet them.

If you do articulate your needs effectively then either the other person isn’t interested in me