Better Boundaries For A Better Life Pt.#1 #005
Boundaries help you create and live your best life.
Today’s podcast is about one of the biggest struggles that can suck the joy right out of your life. It can leave you feeling depleted, disconnected, frustrated, lonely, angry or even depressed.
I personally struggled with this problem for decades.
I was a people pleasing doormat.
The funny thing is, no one knew it. On the outside, I looked confident, like I had my shit together. But inside I was terrified someone would actually SEE ME. That they would be disappointed in me. And That I wasn’t good ENOUGH.
I bit my tongue and avoided confrontations. I put up with being treated poorly or at best having my feelings and needs come LAST on the list.
Does that ring any bells with you?
Ever stopped yourself from saying or doing something you knew to be right for you because of what someone else might think or how someone else might react?
Ever had someone in your life who only seemed to come around when they needed something? Ever had someone who made you feel insignificant or small? Ever put up with something or someone because the thought of the confrontation was seemingly worse than tolerating the situation or person?
If so, you need some boundaries my friend and fast.
Do you struggle with:
Saying NO without fear, anxiety or guilt
Dealing with conflict
Believing in yourself/or having self-confidence
Feeling pushed around
Negative self-talk.(that negative chatter you hear in your head saying “oh no, you can’t do that because you’ll look stupid or remember when you tried that before, you really messed that one up.”
How about Achieving goals- most likely because of the negative chatter
Time management.- or procrastination
Feeling stuck/or unmotivated
Feel taken for granted or unappreciated
If you battle any of these things, you’re not alone. I did too. And so do millions of other people.
It may surprise you to know that lacking boundaries is behind every single one of those struggles. Even achieving goals or the negative self-talk.
So It’s time to have an honest and frank conversation around what it means to not have boundaries and the REAL difference it’ll make in your life and the lives of the people around you.
On this episode I dig into the question:
Why do you not already have good boundaries?
Maybe it’s because you don't want to make waves.
Maybe you feel like boundaries are selfish.
Maybe you end up feeling guilty if you set a boundary.
Maybe you had horrible examples of boundaries growing up.
Is it because your lack of boundaries is serving your needs(hint the answer is yes and I will tell you EXACTLY which needs it meets)?
Maybe you worry it will cost you a relationship if you set a boundary.
Is it because you think it would hurt your business or job?
Instead of just asking “how do I set boundaries” you need to understand why you don't have them in the first place.
So I thought we’d use this week’s episode to share some insight with you and give you some tips on how to stop repeating behaviors that are prohibiting you from having healthy boundaries once and for all.
As you start the process of understanding your boundaries, self-awareness builds. You may start to realize that you love something you had started to hate. You may realize you hate something you’ve been doing on auto-pilot for years.
Being self-aware is KEY to living an intentional authentic life and setting boundaries is a huge first step in that direction.
So scroll on up the page, pop this episode into your eardrums and let me know if you can relate!
The Biggest Takeaways from this Episode:
How fear is behind not setting boundaries.
What boundaries are NOT.
What the 3 biggest reasons are that keep us from setting boundaries.
Why you have been avoiding boundaries.
How the what if's have been holding you back both personally and professionally.
How to break patterns with a simple question.
Why understanding your needs, your model of the world, is crucial with regard to boundaries.
Why not having boundaries is just plain dumb.
What role your boundaries play with regard to respect in your personal and professional relationships.
What conversations you need to have with yourself around boundaries.
Imagine what your life could be like if you had firm but flexible boundaries. If you felt like your needs and values and feelings were being met in ALL your relationships.
Imagine what goals and dreams you could achieve if you always practiced healthy boundaries.
It’s important to remember, You can’t set boundaries if you don’t know what your boundaries ARE or should be.
You have to think about what areas of your life fit you, work for you, and which areas need improvement through boundaries.
Resources Mentioned in This Episode:
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I hope you find this episode packed with value and resources that will help you as you do the hard work to build the life you deserve!
Wishing you all the best in your journey to TAKE BACK YOUR LIFE!!
A Little Note From Me
Thank you so very much for tuning into the show!
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So thank you in advance!
Finally, do you have questions about today’s episode or have suggestions for something you would like me to talk about on the podcast?
Drop me an email at Erin@takebackyourlifecoaching.com and let me know.
That’s the best way for me to help clear up any confusion or answer any questions and to ensure I am incorporating everything you need to help you bridge the gap from where you are and where you want to be and start the process towards taking back your life!!